29th may, saturday

okay, the only thing I like about relationships are that you love someone, and you are too loved in return. and one more thing, the honeymoon period is the ultimate best time of your life. and guess what? the only stupid "mushy" sms or whatever is "I love you" and thats it! and it doesnt come often. we just talk crap and thats that. gab is having her honeymoon period with her brotherbear and now I'm in the process of being courted and no stupid, goddamn honeymoon period. the "iloveyou" just comes at the end when we stop sms-ing or whatever.

I'm damn pissed. I always look forward to the honeymoon period when everything you put in your mouth is sweet and all that. gab met her brotherbear later than I met joshua and she has like, 23 romantic sms-es from him and all I've got is a pathetic three. I just realised it and I dont like it. sherlyn got her honeymoon period and gab got hers. I had mine with bensee, and it was damn sweet. and as far as I'm concerned, joshua is a much better person than bensee. I was looking for something romantic, and boom! just three stupid words and thats it. >.< argh. sherlyn`, gab help. you guys should know what I'm talking about.

and whenever he's angry or something all the vulgarities like all the F start comin out. I mean, okay lah, you want to say just dont say it in front of me can le lar.. argh. I've been feeling rather turned off by all that and everything. I dont think I can be with him. I dont think I want to be with him. he's never been in a relationship before. maybe what I'm expecting is too much to ask from him. I'm glad I annulled it now. maybe he's just not ready to commit himself to a relationship. maybe we just dont fit together like I thought we did. I'm not sure I love him for him now. it can be just a small crush. a small puppy love crush. maybe, I dont know. the one I confide in is alson, not joshua. *shrugs* I'll let nature take its course. if we're meant to be together we will be together. if we're not, then we're not. I dont think we are so-called, perfect for each other.